before the gavel falls. The quiet musings of a humble country lawyer in the big city.

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Name: MrSpkr
Location: Midlothian, Texas, United States

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    MrSpkr's random thoughts . . .
    Monday, April 23, 2007
     
    Why Entertainers should stick to entertaining . . .
    . . . and leave governing to the adults.
    Crow (4/19, Springfield, Tenn.): I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming.
    So, you're going to block out the sun? I think that's already been done by The Simpsons.

    Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating.
    In your addled mind, the fact the sun rises and sets on a daily basis is worth investigating.

    One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.
    Insert your own comment here. Just when I thought brain dead liberals (sorry for the redundancy) and their willing allies in the entertainment industry couldn't get any loonier, Ms. Crow comes along to prove me wrong.

    Perhaps we should create a whole new bureaucracy -- The Federal Bureau of Personal Excrement Sanitation, or somesuch -- that could issue vouchers for toilet paper. If you require extra vouchers, you'd have to submit your request, verified by government doctors, indicating the necessity of extra toilet paper. Perhaps you could mail in samples?. Wouldn't that be ironic . . . a government agency that is well and truly full of crap?

    But wait -- there's more:

    Crow (4/19): I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness.
    Good for you. . . but somehow I suspect you don't want to let it rest at that. You'd rather impose your idiotic opinion on the rest of us, wouldn't you?

    I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product.
    Why do I have the feeling it won't stop with food?

    I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.
    This is what passes for "progressive thought" these days. 'Wipe your face and nose with your sleeve, but don't expect to have sufficient toilet paper to wipe your arse.'

    Sigh. Where do we get these idiots?.
    - posted by MrSpkr @ 07:09
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